Naked Paul Toast’s Insights

I have never understood why people make a big deal about celebrities. They stand in line for hours, hoping to get an autograph or a couple minutes of strained, disinterested, idle idol chit-chat.

I remember as a young boy attending a small Christmas party, at friends of my parents. In attendance was a celebrity, I don’t even remember who he was. My brothers made a huge deal over him, and asked him for an autograph. After signing autographs for my brothers, he then turned to me, assuming I also wanted one, asking who to make it out for. I didn’t want one.

I politely declined, telling him I didn’t collect autographs. His reaction was a combination of shock, disbelief, embarrassment, whatever. For the rest of the night, he was all over me, making jokes about giving me his autograph.

I guess the best way to get attention from celebrities is not to show them any.

In a community near me, there was a case of Hero Worship, gone bad.

David Lee Roth, current and former lead singer for Van Halen was pulled over driving erratically. The police soon learned he was having an allergic reaction to nuts. After waiting for the paramedics, Roth was taken to a hospital and treated. He later went to a local bar, partied with a couple nurses, and did a cameo of Ice Cream Man with the band.

The story spread on the Internet and was picked up by the press all over North America.

NY Daily News
San Francisco Chronicle
Canada.com
People Magazine
Technoati

A real feel good story, until David Lee Roth found out, anyway.

It seems David Lee Roth was playing at Madison Square Garden with Van Halen, when the incident occurred, it was an impostor. Roth’s reply;

“I was in Canada only from July 1st through the 4th for a performance at the Quebec City Summer Festival. I had no encounters or incidents with the police. The only thing I’m allergic to is criticism.”

LA Times
San Francisco Chronicle
Canada.com

Which of course begs the questions; why wasn’t any identification shown to both the police, and the hospital? Who and how is the ambulance and hospital treatment being paid for?

The ultimate icing on the cake, might just be 9 months from now. Should one or both of the hospital nurses, give birth to a tiny little bundle of David Lee Roth impersonator. Her dreams of making the ultimate celebrity child support score, vanquished.

“Mom, tell me about my Dad”.
“Well, he kinda looked like David Lee Roth, and he was allergic to nuts”.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am and is filed under Awesomeness, Stupidity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.